Sense of SELF.

When my twin daughters were two I went through a period of depression.  I had done nothing but attachment parent for two full years. Cloth diapering, nursing, and the pressures of the unknown for two full years. It never dawned on me to take time for myself.  It is common for first time parents to think they need to do it all.  Do not get me wrong here, it was not the attachment parenting that sent me to the blues.  My father’s sudden cancer had sent me over the edge, but I really felt like I didn’t know who I was anymore.

I whole heartedly believe that attachment parenting is the way to go and the benefits are now apparent.  My now seven-year olds are confident, independent, and secure individuals.  That being said, attachment parenting for me required the willing commitment of my SELF.

Let me explain.  Before I had babies I was a pottery teacher, I made glass beads, and I made a line of  funky silk handbags.  I worked for Georgies, a large clay and glaze manufacturer in Portland, Oregon.  I was doing shows and selling my work all year-long.  I always knew that children were in my future, but I always thought that I would still be able to do everything I did before.  My mother won’t ever let me forget the time I told her that “My kids will just do everything with me.  I won’t have to stop doing anything I love to do.”  Which also included white water kayaking.  Ha.  It still makes me chuckle.

After the girls came along, I hit a standstill in my artistic life.  More than anything, I think all of my creative energy was going into my children.  When I would sit down to make art, there was none left for me.  My SELF was missing.  It was being diverted and absorbed by my children.

Fast forward five years:

I just spent the last two weeks working on a line of pottery for my friends shop in Wisconsin.  I am thrilled to have the urge to work with my hands again.  I am starting to feel like my SELF is back and I am able to fill my life with all of the things I loved to do before I had children.  Plus, I now get the added bonus of having three wonderful children to share the activities that make me who I am.  It is so nice to hear my daughters ask to do pottery with me.  I am now sharing my SELF on a whole new level.

BREASTFEEDING TIP: Get a good latch through easy positioning

One of the biggest hurdles for new moms is getting the infant to latch on properly. There are a few things that you can do to assist your new baby. We always see images of the mother cradling her new bundle that is staring up at her with the infant’s body parallel with the ceiling. That is NOT the easiest way for a new baby to nurse. I know the football hold is very popular among lactation consultants, but I could never quite get it right either. So, in an attempt to find a hold that eliminates all chances of user error, I decided to look at the technical structure of what makes a hold adequate for a good latch.

Positioning plays a huge role in proper latch. Until you and the baby get the hang of it, make sure that you have your bellies fully facing each other. This will make latching on tremendously easier for your baby. And it will only be needed for a few weeks while the baby becomes a master of his new job. New babies should be turned fully on their side so that their bellies and pelvis make FULL contact with the mother’s chest and belly.  A pillow will help with this at first. It works best if the mother’s torso and the child’s body make perpendicular intersections with each other. I’ve drawn two diagrams to demonstrate what I mean.

Another problem new mothers face while breastfeeding is a sensation like her nipple is being pinched. That is also due to improper latching on. An easy way to resolve this is to make sure that the underside of the baby’s lips are making contact with the mother’s breast. Imagine that the baby were to maintain proper lip positioning while the mother took him away from her breast. His lips would be folded over so that his gums as well as the underside of both his lips would be in clear view. The pinching is felt when the baby sucks while his gums are in contact with the inside of his lips. So after the baby is sucking, just swipe your finger in between his lips and his gums. If that is too difficult you could always just pull the upper lip up and the lower lip down while the baby is nursing. That will also force the baby into proper positioning.

During the first couple of weeks, our nipples have to toughen up from all of this latch and positioning practice. This process can be very uncomfortable. Applying lanolin to the nipple will help with this immensely. No new nursing mother should be without lanolin. This helps with mild irritation and will heal and prevent painful cracking. If you run out of lanolin, don’t do nothing! Until you get some more, rub a little bit of your own milk on the nipple when you finish a feeding it will protect and sooth it with its own antibacterial qualities.

Dawn Papple dawnnoelle1045@hotmail.com

Breastfeeding Tips- Relax

BREASTFEEDING TIP: Relax

I have way too many breastfeeding tips to put them into just one blog. So over the coming weeks, I will break them down for you. Breastfeeding shouldn’t be this big mystery, but because the last century somehow managed to put men in charge of our earliest mothering experiences, breastfeeding mothers are left in the dark about it until the moment is upon them and they are left to figure it all out at once.

So let’s start by agreeing that breastfeeding is natural, and it’s not our faults that have been kept in the dark about it. All these unknowns as such a crucial time can create a great deal of stress for new moms.

If you are stressed, your milk will not “let down.” Without proper letdown it is impossible to feed your baby properly from your breast.

IMPOSSIBLE.

An example of this is when women have problems expressing their milk with a pump. They try to pump while at work where they are worried about how long they are taking. They are worried about someone walking in. They try to pump at home when they have somewhere to be and they are rushed.

So if you are having trouble breastfeeding the first thing you need to do is relax. Know that while many of your friends have claimed that it just didn’t work for them, you don’t have to fall into the same trap of feeling inadequate as they did.

You are NOT inadequate.

If necessary, visualize your muscles relaxing starting with your facial muscles and working down your body until you have relaxed your toes. Try listening to a CD of soothing ocean sounds or soft music meant for meditation. If that doesn’t work, listen to one of your favorite CDs from when you were young and carefree.

If you need privacy to relax, take it. If you feel it hurts the breastfeeding cause to leave the room in these first few weeks, think again. We don’t send troops to fight the enemy before they are trained. They’d get slaughtered. If your mother-in-law is requesting that you cover up, cthis moment may not be the best time to “fight for the cause.”

When we are anxious, we have an adrenaline rush. It’s the fight or flight response. If you choose to stay just to prove a point, your body won’t allow your milk to let down. Your body was created to recognize adrenaline as a sign that something is wrong. There’s no way your body will prepare to nurse when there could be a “wild animal” you are trying to need to get away from. It certainly won’t torture the child with the smell of free flowing milk when it’s not safe to feed either.

So, you can stand up for your beliefs later, in a couple of months, when you’ve got this all down good. In the meantime, if you can’t relax, excuse yourself to another room so that you will be free to work with your body rather than against it.

-Dawn

How to Explain Homebirth to a Toddler.

Or anyone else that just does not get it.  Adults included.

If you have a toddler and you are planning a homebirth, look no further for a simple way to explain what is happening.  Kelly Mochel has written and illustrated a wonderful children’s book that explains everything.  The illustrations depict the anatomical realities of a woman giving birth and nursing her newborn.

We’re Having a Homebirth is all about explaining that homebirth is a natural process not a medical emergency.

In a societiy that makes it difficult to find real images of the birthing process.   It is refreshing to find a children’s book about the realities of childbirth.  And that it is normal to birth at home.