Giving Attachment Parenting Toys This Holiday Season


The other day, I took my daughter, Ayla, out with her baby doll.  My daughter is a cutie, (and especially adorable when she’s wearing her wig) so she gets lots of attention when she’s out. She gets even more attention though, when she’s out playing Mommy.  With Christmas just around the corner, I want to touch on the subject of allowing the toys our daughters get this season to have the dual function of being fun and promoting good maternal values.

To me, Ayla’s baby doll isn’t just a toy, it’s a learning tool.  We don’t toss baby dolls on the ground. We don’t step on baby dolls. We hold baby dolls nicely, we talk to them kindly, and we wear them!  My daughter, Ayla, is the proud owner of a Mini-Moby. She loves babywearing and she is becoming quite good at understanding how they tie… a trait I hope extends out into her adult mothering years.

Our little girls are going to be bombarded by social norms throughout their lives. During these formative years we have the best chance of teaching them how to mother in a natural and nurturing way.  I want babywearing to be like second nature to my daughter. I want her to know how healthy carriers work, so that she doesn’t have to go through the learning process as an adult (like I did) to become skilled at using one.

There are tools available to us to teach our daughters to mother the way we hope that they will. There is even an amazing breastfeeding doll that was designed to stand up against the thousands of bottle-fed dolls on the market. Guess, what? People love this doll. It gets put on sold-out status all the time!

Sometimes the dolls come out of the package with disposable diapers. I suppose I could let her use them, after all it’s just play right? No! It’s learning, and I want her to learn with cloth diapers! Often she puts her own Fuzzi Bunz on her dolls, but they of course are much too big. The solution for little girls is to get them cloth diapers for premature babies.  These fit perfectly on baby dolls.  Whether they are home-made or if  Santa delivers some gorgeous new Happy Heinys Micro Mini this season, this is a fantastic gift idea. Either way, it will get our little girls excited about cloth diapers.  Besides, we all know that Santa loves getting fluff from Everything Birth!

-Dawn P.

Sense of SELF.

When my twin daughters were two I went through a period of depression.  I had done nothing but attachment parent for two full years. Cloth diapering, nursing, and the pressures of the unknown for two full years. It never dawned on me to take time for myself.  It is common for first time parents to think they need to do it all.  Do not get me wrong here, it was not the attachment parenting that sent me to the blues.  My father’s sudden cancer had sent me over the edge, but I really felt like I didn’t know who I was anymore.

I whole heartedly believe that attachment parenting is the way to go and the benefits are now apparent.  My now seven-year olds are confident, independent, and secure individuals.  That being said, attachment parenting for me required the willing commitment of my SELF.

Let me explain.  Before I had babies I was a pottery teacher, I made glass beads, and I made a line of  funky silk handbags.  I worked for Georgies, a large clay and glaze manufacturer in Portland, Oregon.  I was doing shows and selling my work all year-long.  I always knew that children were in my future, but I always thought that I would still be able to do everything I did before.  My mother won’t ever let me forget the time I told her that “My kids will just do everything with me.  I won’t have to stop doing anything I love to do.”  Which also included white water kayaking.  Ha.  It still makes me chuckle.

After the girls came along, I hit a standstill in my artistic life.  More than anything, I think all of my creative energy was going into my children.  When I would sit down to make art, there was none left for me.  My SELF was missing.  It was being diverted and absorbed by my children.

Fast forward five years:

I just spent the last two weeks working on a line of pottery for my friends shop in Wisconsin.  I am thrilled to have the urge to work with my hands again.  I am starting to feel like my SELF is back and I am able to fill my life with all of the things I loved to do before I had children.  Plus, I now get the added bonus of having three wonderful children to share the activities that make me who I am.  It is so nice to hear my daughters ask to do pottery with me.  I am now sharing my SELF on a whole new level.

The Real Science of Babywearing

Baby wearing is a new term, but not a new concept.

It was birthed from necessity. Long ago, baby wearing was a matter of basic safety. The child could be protected more easily when carried. Things still needed to get done; the baby couldn’t be left alone, so people (for thousands of years in every different culture) have been designing and redesigning the baby carrier. Now, we have the option to leave our infants inside of a crib within the safe confines of our homes.  Due to our advancement, many of the issues that made baby wearing a necessity are less of a factor.

A Physiological Need

Many parents still feel a strong emotional pull towards baby wearing. What we’re starting to realize is that this emotional pull may be instinctual, because the benefits of baby wearing far exceed nurturance, convenience and safety. Infants have a physiological need to be held… a lot.

  1. There is a natural rhythm of movement that is inherently human that no baby swing, bouncer or stroller can replicate.
  2. This motion provides constant and perfect vestibular stimulation which is crucial to infants.
  3. The vestibular system is an area of the brain that has several functions.
  • Maintaining balance in relation to the workings of the inner ear.
  • Helping babies locate where they are in relation to other people and objects.
  • Housing neurological connections that play important roles in posture, coordination, and vision.
  • An under-stimulated vestibular system can result in panic attacks and anxiety, problems with balance, abnormalities in muscle tone, constipation, and teeth grinding.

Mirroring the Nervous System: A Cure for Colic

As if that’s not enough to think about, there’s also the issue of colic. Colic is blamed on over-stimulation of the baby’s nervous system. This over-stimulation may be the result of many things; however, one of the best ways of reducing colic is to keep the baby in close physical contact with his mother.

Near constant contact with his mother’s mature nervous system works to regulate the baby’s immature nervous system.  It lowers the levels of stress hormones and adrenalin circulating in the infant’s blood stream. The baby doesn’t just feel better emotionally when she is held, she feels better physiologically as well.

This idea of regulation is one of the most amazing perks of baby wearing. A baby’s heartbeat, breathing and body temperature also regulate themselves to mirror the more mature functioning of a healthy adult. This establishes healthy patterns at a crucial developmental stage. This is one of the primary reasons why baby-wearing benefits premature infants and lowers their mortality rate.

“If I wear my baby, won’t she be spoiled?”

On the contrary, history and studies have consistently shown that baby wearing allows the child to be at the center of activity rather than being the center of attention. The baby learns that the world doesn’t stop for or revolve around him. Baby wearing fosters a healthy atmosphere for the development of empathy, understanding, learning, affection and a healthy sense of self.  There’s no need to deny our parental instincts to carry our babies any longer. Baby wearing may be thousands of years old, but it is in no way a thing of the past.

Dawn Papple